This past weekend, I had the privilege to hang out with some amazing urban men in California. They have all been through so much suffering, brokenness, and sacrifice. Some because of their own personal sin, but so much because of their situation or the abuse done to them. But the stories they have of perseverance and how God is now using them in unreal ways are very powerful to hear.
Which then led me to these questions, "How much am I willing to sacrifice? What is my limit in suffering?" I think if we are honest, we all have our limits on how much we are willing to give up, or sacrifice for the Lord.
I will serve you, Lord, here... but not there. I am willing to live in this house but not that one. Lord please don't make me live (fill in the blank).
Galatians 2:20 says that we are are dead in Christ. If we truly understand our position in Christ, we are dead. We have no rights. Christ owns us completely. He should be able to do whatever he wants with us. Send us to any place, be willing to endure anything. Any physical suffering, and even death.
For some of us, it might be living near family or it could be related to finances and thinking that we need a certain income to maintain our lifestyle. Or concerning our time and how we use it or how much pain we are willing to endure? There are many different places where we put limits.
Paul in Romans 9.1-3 says some pretty powerful words "I am speaking the truth in Christ -- I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit -- that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh."
Are you serious Paul? You are willing to be cut off from Christ just so his fellow Jews could know Christ? We know Paul endured everything for the sake of the gospel. He was completely obedient to whatever the Holy Spirit asked him to do.
2 Timothy 2.3 says "Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus."
I want that to be my prayer. I want to follow Christ anywhere, even to the point of death. But sadly, I see that I am still putting boundaries on the Lord on how much I will endure. I am praying that the Lord will completely break my flesh and my pride. I pray that I will completely trust in the Lord, in His love for me, that He truly knows what is best, and that I will follow him anywhere even to the point of death.
The Penners
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Celebrating 15 years with Angie!!!!
Today, Angie and I celebrate 15 years of marriage. On my brother's 5 years anniversary of his passing, I wrote a letter to him. Here's my attempt at a letter to you Angie.
Today is 15 years. When I look back to 15 years ago, I think did we really know what we were getting into? We were just kids. We were only 22. How did we know we would make it? how did we know we were ready to spend the rest of our lives together? There really isn't anyway to know that. But we loved each other. We loved God and knew we wanted to be in ministry together and we were ready to go for it. So here we are at 15 years of living life together.
When I think of 15, I was thinking of us being 15 years old. We would have finished our freshman year of high school. We've both talked and been grateful our paths didn't cross for another 4 years. At aged 15, we probably wouldn't have gotten along. We were both sarcastic, but into our own thing. I was totally into sports, not the Lord, and living for my own thing. You were into sports, drama, and your anti-boy days. It's safe to say, we wouldn't have gotten along then. But we changed some in the next four years, met at Tabor (broke up twice, but finally got together for good our senior year) and started our life together on September 5th, 1998.
I think back to these 15 years and we really have done a lot together. We've been to a lot of cool places together. Lots of laughs. Lots of tears and in between some intense moments as we learned what living in the city, balancing ministry and raising a family is like for us. Have we totally figured it out yet?
There are so many things I'm grateful for with you. But maybe the one thing that sticks out right now, is the fact that you just put up with me and have endured with me. As I look back, I do think about our dark times. Especially our years of finishing up at Lighthouse, with your mom passing and then feeling totally burned out and then having Phil die. Those days were jard and they were filled with darkness but yet you hung in there with me.
And now you are hanging in there with my new passion and calling with revival and intensity with the Lord. You put up with my dreams for ministry, dreams for our family, and processing so many things. You are an amazing listener and know just what to say at the right moment to offer a word of wisdom or balance to what I'm expressing in my passionate rant on whatever topic.
After 15 years, we're half way there with raising Ethan and Bree until we start to release them to a new chapter of their lives. that's amazing as well to think about. We know these years are going super fast, so I guess we better put on our seat belts.
I am super excited for these next years of marriage. I feel more clear than ever about our calling. I firmly believe that we are going to see some amazing things with the Lord in the years ahead.
Let's continue pursuing the Lord with everything we have. As they say in sports, let's leave nothing on the field. let's give everything we have to the Lord and see what these years will bring.
so thanks for being on this journey with me. I love you mucho.
Matt
Today is 15 years. When I look back to 15 years ago, I think did we really know what we were getting into? We were just kids. We were only 22. How did we know we would make it? how did we know we were ready to spend the rest of our lives together? There really isn't anyway to know that. But we loved each other. We loved God and knew we wanted to be in ministry together and we were ready to go for it. So here we are at 15 years of living life together.
When I think of 15, I was thinking of us being 15 years old. We would have finished our freshman year of high school. We've both talked and been grateful our paths didn't cross for another 4 years. At aged 15, we probably wouldn't have gotten along. We were both sarcastic, but into our own thing. I was totally into sports, not the Lord, and living for my own thing. You were into sports, drama, and your anti-boy days. It's safe to say, we wouldn't have gotten along then. But we changed some in the next four years, met at Tabor (broke up twice, but finally got together for good our senior year) and started our life together on September 5th, 1998.
I think back to these 15 years and we really have done a lot together. We've been to a lot of cool places together. Lots of laughs. Lots of tears and in between some intense moments as we learned what living in the city, balancing ministry and raising a family is like for us. Have we totally figured it out yet?
There are so many things I'm grateful for with you. But maybe the one thing that sticks out right now, is the fact that you just put up with me and have endured with me. As I look back, I do think about our dark times. Especially our years of finishing up at Lighthouse, with your mom passing and then feeling totally burned out and then having Phil die. Those days were jard and they were filled with darkness but yet you hung in there with me.
And now you are hanging in there with my new passion and calling with revival and intensity with the Lord. You put up with my dreams for ministry, dreams for our family, and processing so many things. You are an amazing listener and know just what to say at the right moment to offer a word of wisdom or balance to what I'm expressing in my passionate rant on whatever topic.
After 15 years, we're half way there with raising Ethan and Bree until we start to release them to a new chapter of their lives. that's amazing as well to think about. We know these years are going super fast, so I guess we better put on our seat belts.
I am super excited for these next years of marriage. I feel more clear than ever about our calling. I firmly believe that we are going to see some amazing things with the Lord in the years ahead.
Let's continue pursuing the Lord with everything we have. As they say in sports, let's leave nothing on the field. let's give everything we have to the Lord and see what these years will bring.
so thanks for being on this journey with me. I love you mucho.
Matt
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
A Prayer for our country - From Psalm 81
As I was reading and praying through Psalm 81 from the lectionary reading this week, I was struck that this could be a great Psalm and prayer for our country. So here is my attempt at a prayer with Psalm 81 in mind also clearly remembering America is not Israel. But the spirit of the prayer, I think can apply well to our situation.
Lord today, we declare your praises. We sing aloud to you, who is our strength. We will use anything we have, instruments, our hands, our lives to celebrate you. We will throw a party and festival in your name. You are above all gods. We bless your name.
You have been so faithful to us. You have walked with us through generation after generation. Just like you walked with the Israelite's and delivered them from Egypt and many enemies, you have been with us in our country. You have walked with us. You have prospered us. You have given us amazing freedom. Amazing blessings. You have been our protector.
Lord you said that we are to obey your voice, but we have not done that. We have way to many distractions to even hear your voice now. We are one with culture. We can't truly discern your will because we are so consumed with media, money, and the things of this world. We confess that we have idols. We have worshiped our possessions, our security, our freedom rather than truly worshiping you. Instead of bringing unity to the body of Christ, we have debated other believers and taken stands against so many things. Instead of loving our enemies and showing them how good you are, we have not represented your name. We have not been holy. We have sinned, Lord.
We want to walk with you. We want to walk in your ways. Bring us back, Lord. Bring us to our knees. Deliver us one more time from our sin, from our wicked ways. Heal our hearts. Heal our churches. Heal our families. Keep our eyes focused on you.
We know that if indeed walk in your ways and follow your voice, you will give us what we need. Not what we think we need, but you will feed us with your presence. We will be truly satisfied in you, Jesus.
Hear our prayer, Lord. We are desperate. We are in need of you to bring us back again.
Amen.
Lord today, we declare your praises. We sing aloud to you, who is our strength. We will use anything we have, instruments, our hands, our lives to celebrate you. We will throw a party and festival in your name. You are above all gods. We bless your name.
You have been so faithful to us. You have walked with us through generation after generation. Just like you walked with the Israelite's and delivered them from Egypt and many enemies, you have been with us in our country. You have walked with us. You have prospered us. You have given us amazing freedom. Amazing blessings. You have been our protector.
Lord you said that we are to obey your voice, but we have not done that. We have way to many distractions to even hear your voice now. We are one with culture. We can't truly discern your will because we are so consumed with media, money, and the things of this world. We confess that we have idols. We have worshiped our possessions, our security, our freedom rather than truly worshiping you. Instead of bringing unity to the body of Christ, we have debated other believers and taken stands against so many things. Instead of loving our enemies and showing them how good you are, we have not represented your name. We have not been holy. We have sinned, Lord.
We want to walk with you. We want to walk in your ways. Bring us back, Lord. Bring us to our knees. Deliver us one more time from our sin, from our wicked ways. Heal our hearts. Heal our churches. Heal our families. Keep our eyes focused on you.
We know that if indeed walk in your ways and follow your voice, you will give us what we need. Not what we think we need, but you will feed us with your presence. We will be truly satisfied in you, Jesus.
Hear our prayer, Lord. We are desperate. We are in need of you to bring us back again.
Amen.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Ethan attending a new school
This past summer, we made a decision to send Ethan to a new school here in Wichita called, The Classical School of Wichita. In a sense this decision came really fast and out of nowhere but as we prayed about it and made the decision, we realized God was answering a prayer that was several years in the making.
Ethan has loved learning Spanish and attending Horace Mann. We have absolutely loved the school and the faculty. Ethan loves the Latin culture. The school goes through 8th grade, so we didn't have any plans to change schools. But that changed in a matter of one week in June.
This past year, I've felt like the Lord has impressed on me that this is a critical time in his life and development. Since our Peru trip a year ago, we've seen his heart grow for missions and serving God. He has a tender heart for the Lord and often talks about Heaven and eternity. But also he has really struggled with anger and it just seems like there is a real battle for his allegiance right now.
So Angie and I wanted to expose our kids to other kids who are passionate for God. We sent them to a Signs and Wonder camp at IHOP in KC. This camp changed both of their lives. They were exposed to God in deep levels. They both learned to love to worship God and experience His Presence in new ways. When I talked to Ethan following the camp, I thought, "What has happened to my son?!" He couldn't stop talking about the Holy Spirit. It was obvious he was touched by God.
When we got home and shared with our good friend, Lisa Entz, she mentioned that we might need to home-school him. That wouldn't work for Angie and I but it got us thinking that now might be the time to switch to a Christian school.
Ethan has met a couple of good friends at Horace Mann, but as a whole he hasn't made many Christian friends. He has been picked on a lot at recess. I talked to one friend who taught in public school for a few years in 5th grade. She said 5th grade is the year where a lot changed for the boys. She was so surprised with what the kids knew and talked about.
Suddenly we realized, we needed to steward what God was doing in his life and that the public school environment wouldn't be the best for him.
We researched schools and learned more about the Classical School. We were so impressed by the education and faculty and the families that attended. We sensed God was leading us there so we enrolled Ethan and now he is attending there. He is very excited to be learning Latin. He has already met some good new friends, and we have loved the new community there.
It was interesting though after the first couple of days. He said that he misses speaking Spanish and misses the Latin culture. He has sure learned to appreciate many cultures. But he will still get many experiences of culture through playing tackle football and our work as missionaries.
The issue of public school vs Christian schools and home-schooling is one that has caused a lot debate. We have always been in favor of public schools and want to support public education. But in our current situation as missionaries and the lack of Christian friends Ethan has, we felt that at this time, this decision was right for us.
Ethan has loved learning Spanish and attending Horace Mann. We have absolutely loved the school and the faculty. Ethan loves the Latin culture. The school goes through 8th grade, so we didn't have any plans to change schools. But that changed in a matter of one week in June.
This past year, I've felt like the Lord has impressed on me that this is a critical time in his life and development. Since our Peru trip a year ago, we've seen his heart grow for missions and serving God. He has a tender heart for the Lord and often talks about Heaven and eternity. But also he has really struggled with anger and it just seems like there is a real battle for his allegiance right now.
So Angie and I wanted to expose our kids to other kids who are passionate for God. We sent them to a Signs and Wonder camp at IHOP in KC. This camp changed both of their lives. They were exposed to God in deep levels. They both learned to love to worship God and experience His Presence in new ways. When I talked to Ethan following the camp, I thought, "What has happened to my son?!" He couldn't stop talking about the Holy Spirit. It was obvious he was touched by God.
When we got home and shared with our good friend, Lisa Entz, she mentioned that we might need to home-school him. That wouldn't work for Angie and I but it got us thinking that now might be the time to switch to a Christian school.
Ethan has met a couple of good friends at Horace Mann, but as a whole he hasn't made many Christian friends. He has been picked on a lot at recess. I talked to one friend who taught in public school for a few years in 5th grade. She said 5th grade is the year where a lot changed for the boys. She was so surprised with what the kids knew and talked about.
Suddenly we realized, we needed to steward what God was doing in his life and that the public school environment wouldn't be the best for him.
We researched schools and learned more about the Classical School. We were so impressed by the education and faculty and the families that attended. We sensed God was leading us there so we enrolled Ethan and now he is attending there. He is very excited to be learning Latin. He has already met some good new friends, and we have loved the new community there.
It was interesting though after the first couple of days. He said that he misses speaking Spanish and misses the Latin culture. He has sure learned to appreciate many cultures. But he will still get many experiences of culture through playing tackle football and our work as missionaries.
The issue of public school vs Christian schools and home-schooling is one that has caused a lot debate. We have always been in favor of public schools and want to support public education. But in our current situation as missionaries and the lack of Christian friends Ethan has, we felt that at this time, this decision was right for us.
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